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Famous at Harvard

Relax, young frosh: you too might make this list someday. For now, here’s a brief list of some famous people to have attended this nearly-400-year-old establishment.

Mark Zuckerberg ’06

So he never really graduated, and he went on to collect your data and sell it to sketchy UK and Russian companies, only to play dumb when the world caught on and he had to feel all apologetic about it. Regardless, Mark went here, and it’s kinda awk to be like “yeah, I go to Harvard—the same place that Mark Zuckerberg, harvester of data and seller of said data to companies who want to rig national elections, went to.” Wait, what? You wouldn’t say that? Yikes. (He did do some good, though, we suppose: how else would you be able to weekly change your relationship status in front of hundreds of judgy people?)

Natalie Portman ’03

She’s been in movies like Black Swan, she speaks multiple languages, she concentrated in Psych, she runs a women’s empowerment organization, and speaks on behalf of climate change activism—and, yes, she’s gorgeous. We’re going to leave this here. (Imposter syndrome, much?)

FDR, 1903

Yes, our former president. He successfully navigated the US through World War II and negotiated the New Deal (just making sure you’re up-to-date on your American history). If you’re lucky and end up in Adams, you might get to live in his suite.

Rashida Jones ’97

Star of Parks and Rec, producer of a documentary that explored teenage girls’ roles in pornographic films, and prolific screenwriter and essayist, Rashida can do it all. We’re really liking this trend of badass women to come from the College. (Even though Harvard and Radcliffe did not fully integrate until 1999. C’mon Harvard, get with the times.)

Jared Kushner ’03

He’s the senior adviser to his dad-in-law, and is the director of the Office of American Innovation. (Raise your left hand if you don’t know what that means, and raise your right hand if that sounds like a front for all the money he made in 2017, some of which may or may not be a conflict of interest.) His dad recently said that his son had to sacrifice a lot to work in government, and if by sacrifice he means even more millions, then we guess he’s right. Kinda like the money Daddy Kushner allegedly sacrificed for Jared to earn a diploma here. 

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